I was living a completely “typical” life till I was 15. My world (that I loved)
consisted of going to school, dance clubs, cafes and bars. Even though
my parents weren’t as lenient as I’d like them to be, I was able to
talk them into letting me spend an occasional weekend at my friend’s
cottage.
At that time I also met a girl who struggled with a low self-esteem. She was invited to a church service, but was scared to tell me, because she thought I’d just laugh at her. The truth was that I was astounded that people like that would exist in these days; I’d think them to be from medieval times. And I actually started to insist that she’d take me with her. After a small argument we went to a person who invited her and he agreed that I should go.
The program in the church was so different from everything else I’d known that I decided to come again. I have to admit that I didn’t understand much, but there was something that drew me in. In about 2-3 months I had new friends, but I didn’t allow them to talk about God in front of me, since I knew that there was no God.
He started to deal with me though. After one meeting, where I was making fun of creation, I started weeping uncontrollably and I didn’t know why! I felt embarrassed – for once because I couldn’t stop it, and also because it was breaking my image of tough confident woman. I was glad when it was over and I could go home. I was mad at myself.
I went straight to bed to sleep it away. But there was another surprise in store for me! That night I had a dream. I came to a big huddle of fish. When I got closer I noticed there were both – dead and living fish in that huddle. So I sat down and started to sort them – the dead one on one side, the living ones on the other. When I woke up I heard a voice: “The dead fish are the one, who don’t believe in me, and you’re also among them.”
I have to say I still didn’t get it! My reaction wasn’t surprise neither fear, just plain statement: “I didn’t ask about anything.”
However I asked someone in the church what it meant and the person told me, that there is a similar story in Bible (about the fisherman’s net).
Despite the fact that I didn’t believe that Bible is God’s word, I didn’t want to read it or even own one. Then one day after my friend’s persuading I opened it and randomly looked through it and I read this: “What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death.”
I’m the kind of person who’s hard to “hit” but this pierced me through and there was nowhere to hide from it. I understood then what a horrible life I’d lived and that I was ashamed and also that God had seen it all. I didn’t stand a chance in covering up my filth. I felt awful! I don’t know how long I just stood there in shock, but there were no more doubts, God exists!
This thing happened 20 years ago, but it changed my life! In all these years many other things and miracles took place, God showed me His power through His blessing, healing, setting me free, but the greatest miracle of them all for me personally is when He convinced me of His existence!
